What if I told you that raising children was never meant to be this hard?

We weren’t designed to do it alone, yet modern life has isolated families, stripping away the support networks that once made parenting fulfilling instead of exhausting. The consequences are severe—fewer people want to have children, mothers are overwhelmed, and fathers struggle under immense pressure. But what if we could change that? What if we could rebuild the village that once made family life strong?

Some of my fondest childhood memories, from infancy until around four or five years old, were spent with my extended family. I didn’t just have my parents—I had a village. My teenage aunt played the role of a nurturing second mother, patiently caring for me, showering me with warmth and kindness, and spending hours playing with me. Her presence made me feel safe, secure, and loved.

Beyond her, I was surrounded by older relatives, many of whom were senior citizens. Sitting beside them as they talked, I absorbed their conversations, soaking in their wisdom, their stories, and their perspectives on life. It wasn’t just entertaining—it was intellectually and verbally stimulating. It shaped my thinking and broadened my understanding of the world before I even realized it.

Looking back, I see how valuable this was—not just for me, but for my mother. She had built-in support, people she could trust to watch over me, giving her much-needed moments of rest. Raising a child, especially a young one, is an all-consuming responsibility. Without help, it can quickly become overwhelming. My mother, like many mothers throughout history, had the natural buffer of extended family to share the weight of childcare.

When the Support Disappears

But then, things changed. My younger brother was born, and for reasons I didn’t fully understand at the time, we stopped spending as much time with our extended family. I still visited, but my brother didn’t—he had a much more difficult temperament. He would cry and scream constantly, making him hard for others to be around. Where I had been quiet and well-behaved, naturally blending into adult conversations, he was disruptive. And so, my mother had to manage much more on her own.

Thinking back, I realize how much that must have increased her stress. What had once been a communal experience became a lonely one, where she had fewer hands to help and fewer breaks to catch her breath. This, I believe, is one of the greatest losses of modern family life—the disappearance of the village.

In today’s world, the nuclear family is expected to do everything alone. Parents are raising children without the support networks that used to exist for generations. Grandparents live far away. Aunts and uncles are busy with their own lives. Siblings have moved across the country—or across the world. Young parents, already burdened with financial stress, demanding jobs, and the pressures of modern life, are left with no one to lean on.

And the result? Many couples delay having children—or decide against having them at all. Those who do have kids often struggle under the weight of exhaustion, isolation, and burnout. Motherhood becomes overwhelming instead of fulfilling. Fatherhood becomes a burden instead of a legacy building project.

A Plan for the Future: Rebuilding the Village

Now, as a father myself, I see the consequences of this firsthand. My wife and I don’t have the kind of support my mother had. I live on a different continent from my family, and her family, while loving, is small and not in the best health to help. We are doing it alone.

But I don’t want my sons to face this same reality. That’s why I am intentional about creating a different future—a reality where my children and their families live near us, perhaps even in the same row of houses. Close enough that we can support one another without suffocating each other. Close enough that they won’t have to face parenthood in isolation. I would even be happy to offer my children’s in-laws a place in this close-knit community, ensuring that my grandchildren have both sets of grandparents nearby to share in their upbringing and support their parents.

I plan to be deeply involved in their lives—not in an overbearing way, but as a pillar of support. I want to help them practically, emotionally, and financially so that they can start families young, without fear of being overwhelmed. If they have the safety net of family, they won’t have to delay marriage and children until they feel “ready” in a way that society pressures them to be.

More than that, I hope their wives will form strong bonds, supporting each other in the daily realities of motherhood. I want to foster a culture of cooperation rather than competition—where they help one another with childcare, household tasks, and the emotional challenges of raising a family.

Why We Must Rebuild the Family Network

This isn’t just about my family—it’s about a much larger issue. We need to rebuild the community we have lost. If we want to see families thrive, we must restore the structures that made parenting a shared and meaningful experience.

For thousands of years, raising children was never meant to be an isolated task. It was woven into the fabric of community life, with extended family, neighbors, and even close friends playing a role. Somewhere along the way, we lost this—and the consequences are severe.

Fewer people want to have children. The responsibility feels overwhelming without a support network.

Mothers are struggling. With no help, raising children feels lonely, overwhelming, and exhausting rather than fulfilling.

Fathers feel the pressure of “doing it all.” Without community support, they must provide, protect, and parent without respite, often without the guidance and mentorship of older men who once played a crucial role in shaping the next generation of fathers.

Children miss out on intergenerational wisdom. Growing up around only their parents, they lose exposure to the stories, knowledge, and patience of older generations.

Children miss out on the experience of growing up with slightly older and slightly younger relatives. In a strong family community, wisdom is passed down not just from adults but from child to child in an uninterrupted chain. They are never the youngest, never the oldest, and always have a built-in support system—an older sibling or cousin to look up to, and a younger one to mentor.

They see themselves as part of something bigger and more stable than a nuclear family, reducing anxiety about their parents’ relationship because they witness the entire familial community supporting marriage and child-rearing.

Instead of relying solely on two adults for survival, they grow up with the security of an extended family and tribe.

It’s time to stop pretending the nuclear family is enough and start rebuilding the multi-generational support networks that helped humanity thrive for centuries.

A Vision for the Future

The modern world has convinced us that family should be small, isolated, and self-sufficient—but that model is failing. We are not meant to raise children alone. We are not meant to struggle in silence.

It’s time to rebuild the village—not just for ourselves, but for our children and the generations to come. Because when we bring back community, we don’t just make parenting easier—we make life richer, deeper, and more meaningful.

So let’s ask ourselves: What can we do, today, to start rebuilding what we lost?