There’s a video going around (🔗 Watch here) of a woman declaring she doesn’t find average men attractive. She’s clearly an average-looking woman herself — maybe a 5 out of 10. And yet, she speaks with total confidence, as though average men are beneath her.

Someone commented:

“Is it BAD for society that average-looking women find a majority of average-looking men unattractive? If we put this girl next to her male looks equivalent, she would be in shambles. What do you rate her looks out of 10?”

It’s an entertaining comment — and it touches a nerve — but I want to take this further:

This isn’t bad. It’s normal. It’s the way human mating psychology has always worked.

Women aren’t necessarily supposed to find men physically attractive in the same way men find women attractive. Most women don’t lust after a man’s facial symmetry or bone structure. That’s not how it works.

Women are attracted to masculinity — and no one defines masculinity as being “pretty.”

A masculine man is one who is mature — fully developed into manhood. He has:

Strength (mental, emotional, physical)

Courage (again, across all three dimensions)

Mastery (he’s good at something—ideally, something that provides and protects)

Honor among his peers (he’s respected by other men, meaning he has a place in the male hierarchy—even if he’s a respected Delta, not an Alpha)

Average women often marry Deltas. They’re not chasing the top 1% of men; they’re seeking mature, masculine men who are competent, confident, and respected.

See my previous post “Understanding the Social Sexual Hierarchy: Why Men Need Hierarchy to Thrive”.

The Real Issue

The real issue isn’t that women don’t want average men. The issue is that most average men today aren’t men at all. They’re adult-sized toddlers. Or worse—spiritual girls.

See “Most Normie Men Are Spiritually Girls”: https://x.com/NoahRevoy/status/1903720481758331132

I’ve written and spoken extensively about this: how the modern world has created generations of under-fathered, immature, spiritually neutered males who haven’t yet completed the journey into manhood. And without extended family or tribal structures to support maturation within marriage, women are now waiting until they find a man who is already mature.

That’s not bad. That’s adaptive.

But we also need to acknowledge that women themselves are often immature — and that’s a cross-cultural problem. In this article we’re focusing primarily on the male side of the issue, but I’ve written about the female side in other pieces.

Because of their own immaturity — and because they no longer have trusted family support systems helping them select husbands — modern women are struggling to accurately identify masculine, mature men.

Historically, women didn’t choose their husbands freely. They chose from a limited pool of men pre-approved by their parents and local community — a system that ensured those options had already passed a basic filter of character, lineage, and maturity. That meant women didn’t have to be particularly good at predicting which young men would grow into good husbands — because older, wiser people could see that trajectory more clearly.

This is why it was once possible to marry young — even in your teenage years — and still end up with a solid man. A boy’s developmental trajectory, his family reputation, and the judgment of his elders acted as guides. That support structure is now gone.

So modern women are left anxious, overwhelmed, and often uncertain about whom to trust. They lack both confidence in their own judgment and external guidance.

This hurts both men and women:

It’s harder for men to prove they’re ready.

It’s harder for women to believe what they’re seeing.

The result? Only the men who are especially skilled at demonstrating their value get attention — not necessarily the highest-value men, but the best at presentation.

And you know what? That’s smart. A woman’s instincts are tuned to only feel desire for the kind of man who can lead a family. That’s not broken. That’s protective.

I’ve never had a single case of a man fully embodying mature masculinity — what I call the Meta Father — who couldn’t attract women. If women aren’t drawn to you, you’re likely just not finished becoming a man yet. And that doesn’t make you bad. It just means you have work to do.

I help men complete that process:

To become confident in their own masculinity.

To develop strength, courage, and mastery.

To become respected by other men.

To build the internal and external life of a man who is ready for marriage and fatherhood.

And here’s the truth: There’s no reason you can’t be a mature man by 21. Maturity isn’t about your brain’s final growth spurt at 25 — it’s about being competent enough to handle responsibility, build a family, and lead.

So no — it’s not a crisis that average women want more than the average man is currently offering. It’s a signal. A challenge. A call for men to rise.

And the good news? This is a solvable problem. If you’re willing to grow — truly grow — women will notice. You won’t need to beg for attention. You’ll earn the right kind of attention, the right way.

If you’re ready to become the man you were meant to be — mature, masculine, respected — I can help. Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/noahrevoy/30