How to help an under-fathered generation

How to help an under-fathered generation.

The main reason millions in the west are struggling is that they have been under-fathered. Their father didn’t provide the love, protection, security, guidance, and training that they needed to grow up to be confident, competent, self-loving, and robust as adults.

Even worse, many fathers impress upon their children a set of negative messages about who they are, their value, and their worth. They may intellectually know that their father was wrong, but internally, they are still following his negative script about themselves and the world.

Despite the prevalence of childhood neglect and abuse, many have been driven to survive and not self-destruct by ending up as addicts, criminals, or dead.

If this message resonates with you, I want you to know that you are incomplete, not broken. You lack an internalized, healthy father who will guide and motivate you towards a better life. To complete your development into adulthood, you must “become your own father.”

That means you must learn how to father yourself.

This is not something that you can do by yourself. A mature man is required to guide you towards adulthood, which includes updating your internal scripts and programming.

When we work together, I fill the role of father-mentor. This allows you to experience a healthy father script and begin to internalize it. Over time, I will teach you how to father yourself, just as any good father must teach his children.

Once you’ve internalized a healthy father in your mind, all you need to learn is how to build your life and get what you want. It’s just a skills issue at that point.

Good things are coming in your future; you just need to start by asking for help and to have patience with yourself despite the pain. We can’t rush the process.

Most people stop seeking help and improving the moment their pain begins to dissipate. They are not committed to a better future; they are just running away from a painful past. This ensures that their pain will come back in a few months and that the painful, expensive cycle continues.

But you can build a better future. You got this far, despite all the difficulties. With the right support, you will reach your full potential.

I can’t promise that there will be no more pain. Life is painful. But I can promise that you will create very good reasons to bear your load, and often, you will enjoy your life.

If you have any doubts or questions, unload them here, and I will answer them. You might also want to print this message out and read it when you are feeling down or unsure.