A lot of this comes down to trauma caused by parental neglect

A lot of this comes down to trauma caused by parental neglect.

Their parents never trained them to regulate their emotions internally. So now, as adults, they need external anchors, someone else to calm them, hold them, guide them, just to feel stable.

That is not a huge problem. As long as she is willing to learn.

If she learns to regulate her emotions herself, she takes that burden off the man. And more importantly, She can then train her own children to self-regulate.

That breaks the generational cycle.