A good marriage is not created by accident. It requires foresight, planning, and effort.

� The beauty of marriage is that it can evolve. You’re never stuck in one place, you’re sculpting something living, changing, growing.

But to make sure its change you want, you need to mindfully design your marriage. Choose the direction of its growth.🧱

What would that look like? How can you “redesign” a marriage that’s not as good as it should be?

Keep reading and I will show you.

First: Think about HOW you want to live.

Having a list of things you are looking for in a spouse is good.

Having a list of things you want to avoid is better.

�️ But BEST is designing a lifestyle and picking a spouse that works with how you want to live.

More flexibility = easier to get what you want.

� You’re not giving up your vision, you’re making it easier to reach. � Flexibility shows self-awareness. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.

Here are some examples to consider:

� Country, urban, suburban? �‍👩‍👧‍👦 Near family? � Big house or small? � How many children? � New cars or used? �‍👧 Stay-at-home mom? � Eating out? � Vacations, travel? � How much will the husband work? �️ Fitness? � Food habits? � House maintenance? � Money management? � Debt? � Strict monogamy or…? � Religion?

(And many more areas can be included in the list.)

� This isn’t just a checklist, it’s a blueprint for peace, joy, and alignment. ✍️ The clearer your vision, the easier it is to build a life that lasts.

When designing your married life, some things will not matter to you. That’s good. Still, write down what areas you’re flexible on. Don’t leave it to chance or emotion later on.

� A good rule of thumb is to be flexible on 2 areas for every 1 area you require.

Second: Think about what YOU can do.

� What can YOU do to support the married life you are proposing?

⚖ What do you need a spouse to do?

Here’s the big question:

� Is what you are prepared to do a fair trade for what you are asking your spouse to do? If you’re asking more than you’re offering, you won’t get anyone seriously presenting you the lifestyle you crave.

� If you’re already married and you’re offering far less than you’re asking, divorce is coming for you.

� Ask for less & offer more to fix this.

� Every sacrifice you make in love becomes an investment in trust. � You can be the hero of your own marriage story—starting now.

Married But Unhappy?

If you’re already married and unhappy, Instead of looking for an out, work with your spouse to redesign your married life.

� Think in terms of how YOU want to live differently, Not just what you want your spouse to do differently.

This helps you come up with creative solutions. 💡

� You’ll be amazed what you and your spouse can weave together when you stop tugging at opposite ends.

� Make sure that each area of your proposed new lifestyle is the responsibility of ONE person.

Shared responsibilities need to be broken up until they are discrete and separate.

⚔ Shared responsibilities create conflict. � Division of labor creates peace.

And you want peace. ☮

� Peace in your home is worth more than status, luxury, or ego. And it’s within reach. � A peaceful marriage isn’t passive—it’s deeply intentional.