There is a war against maturity, and you might be on the wrong side of it

There is a war against maturity, and you might be on the wrong side of it.

Most people do not understand what maturity is. I’ve written a lot about male maturity and cleared up a lot of misconceptions, but here I will speak about female maturity.

I had the privilege to be raised around some fantastic mature women (great grandmothers and church ladies), and I’ve met lots of mature women over my lifetime. Observing them taught me all about female maturity.

What female maturity is not.

Maturity is not the set of unhealthy coping mechanisms you develop after self-inflicted trauma.

“I was so immature at 18, so I dated a man who was 10 years older than me. He was a crack dealer and pimp, but I thought he was the best, but then I learned he was only using me. Now that I’m more mature, I don’t trust any man.”

That’s not maturity; that’s a trauma response. That woman is now worse off than before and less mature. She has not learned anything useful about relationships while adding unhealthy beliefs and emotional patterns to her behavior.

Maturity is not simply getting older. There are lots of immature 40-year-old women. It’s not even just brain development.

The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so. But here is the kicker: 90% of people make emotional decisions and then rationalize them. They are barely using the rational part of their brain. Only 10%, almost exclusively men, make rational decisions.

This is a feature, not a flaw. Emotional decisions (going with your gut) are faster than rational decisions. Throughout human history, many daily decisions have had to be made quickly and with little information. Going with our gut is usually good enough, unless it’s not.

Dating and marriage are two areas where both rational thinking and emotional feelings need to be applied, but I’ll get to that in greater depth later.

Maturity is not education. No, going to university probably won’t make a woman more mature. The goal of modern higher education is indoctrination and subservience to the new liberal social norms of irresponsibility and hedonism, the very opposite of maturity.

Maturity is not your career’s advancement. There are lots of very successful yet very immature people. They can make money, but they can barely manage their personal lives and relationships.

If maturity is not unhealthy coping mechanisms, age, brain development, education, or career, what is it?

Maturity is the willingness and ability to bear responsibility. It is not a binary, but a spectrum. We call a person “mature” if they can handle a level of responsibility that is appropriate for their age.

In the case of female maturity, it is the willingness and ability to bear the responsibility of being wives and mothers.

How does a woman learn responsibility? You can only learn to be mature from a mature person. Ideally, that would be her parents and other older relatives.

Unfortunately, we live in the most under-fathered and under-mothered society in history. Too many parents aren’t doing their job—delivering their children into competent adulthood, ready to marry and have children.

These underdeveloped young people tend to pick up unhealthy habits and coping mechanisms in their teens and twenties. This is why many single 30-year-old women are less mature than they were at 18. Less capable of taking on the responsibilities of a relationship and less capable of cooperating with a man. They got older, but they got bitter instead of wise.

This was not as big of a problem before World War 1. As my great-grandmother used to say, “In my day, a 16-year-old woman was mature enough to marry, run a household, and take care of children. We could do that because our mothers had us help with house management when we were young. They taught us everything we needed to know.”

Their generation tried to pass on their wisdom to their children, but the world wars and subsequent communist takeover of western institutions countered their influence. Since then, most young people have struggled to find good guidance and grow into maturity.

The most immature society in history has been intentionally created this way.

We are also experiencing a socially engineered push to artificially prolong childhood into the late 20s. This is another example of the war on maturity.

The main weapon in this war is manipulation, such as calling normal adult relationships “creapy” or “weird” or labeling normal men as p*edos because they are attracted to young women. Or shaming young women for wanting marriage and children rather than promiscuous sex and OnlyFans creator accounts. There are several converging interests promoting this sick thinking and using these tactics.

1. This eternal childhood appeals to adult women who have wasted their 20s foolishly, allowing them to imagine they are younger than they are. They shame men their own age for preferring younger, sweeter, more cooperative women instead of working on themselves.

2. This tactic is also being used as cover by real p*edos who are diluting the meaning of the word. They encourage the useful idiots mentioned above to abuse and misuse it until it loses all value. This is more word magic.

3. The antinatalists want white, western women to wait longer and longer to have children, preferably forever. If they can retard our emotional development long enough, they get their wish.

If you fall into groups 1, 2, or 3, you are part of the war on maturity and an enemy of humanity.

So what’s a young woman to do?

Raised right, many young women are mature enough for marriage at 16 years of age. I have known such women. We are all descendents of such women. Raised poorly, she will never be ready unless she rectifies the situation.

(Whether or not it’s a good idea for them to marry at 16 should be decided on a case-by-case basis by them and their parents. You and I have no say in this.)

If your parents failed to teach you maturity, you will have to find an alternative source. Find mentors in older, mature women who have married exemplary men, raised successful children, and continued to honor and obey their husbands. These mature women can teach you maturity.

Throughout history, many young women have seen the practical value of marrying an older, more mature man who can help them develop their maturity while sharing his stability with her.

In all healthy marriages where the man leads and a cooperative wife follows that lead, you will find that he is aiding her in developing her maturity. Continued growth is needed as they take on more responsibility as a couple, first as parents, then as grandparents, and even as senior community leaders mentoring others.

The immature, traumatized, and unhealed 30-year-old woman can also be helped to heal and develop her maturity by a good man. But most men her age would prefer the simpler and less aggravating task of helping a younger woman. The 30-year-old woman should be looking for a spouse who is 10+ years older than her, someone who would not match with that 18-year-old. Even then, she will need to demonstrate her willingness to learn from him and develop herself with his help.

How can these immature at any age women vet men so that they pick a good man instead of a predator?

They could ask a successful married woman for advice, but because their fathers and husbands have protected them from bad men their entire lives, most (but not all) women are terrible judges of men. Or, if underfathered, they have only been exposed to the kind of bad men that such women attract.

In general, men are the best judges of men. But you need to ask a mature man’s opinion. As someone with a history of helping others reach maturity, I have filled this role for many young and not-so-young people over nearly two decades of coaching and mentoring.

Vetting men and women for marriage does require some discernment; however, it’s not just guesswork or gut instinct. You can apply my methods and systems to objectively measure a man’s character.

So no matter if you are 18 or 30, 40, or older, you can find a husband who will lead you as a good and mature man. If you know how.