The 5 Keys To Productive Conflict In Relationships 1) Love

The 5 Keys To Productive Conflict In Relationships

1. Love. Approach the conflict with a loving attitude. You might have other emotions as well, but love needs to be the dominant one, which requires emotional regulation.

2. Honesty. No manipulation, no lies. Be honest, be open, and be transparent about what you want. (Read my book,

3. Reciprocity. Seek a win-win resolution. Avoid selfishness and seek mutual satisfaction. The only lasting victory is when you both win.

4. Clarity. First, seek inner clarity. Know yourself, your goals, and healthy conflict rules. Then seek clarity with the other party to the conflict. Get curious, ask questions, and make sure they and you understand each other.

5. Patience. Sometimes it takes a while to resolve a conflict in a positive way. Don’t let yourself lose sight of the long-term benefits of the conflict by focusing on the momentary discomfort it causes.

These are the very basics of healthy conflict. If you want to know more reach out to me.

All this applies to conflict with people you care about. Of course this doesn’t apply when someone is malicious and seeking to harm you.

3 Free bonus tips for resolving conflict in intimate relationships.

a) Physical contact, caressing, hugging, a kiss, hand holding, etc. can reduce “negative” emotions and make the discussion easier to navigate. Dont underestimate the power of oxytocin.

b) Don’t try to deal with more than one thing at a time. Avoid clouding the discussion with secondary issues, no matter how important they seem. This is not a contract negotiation.

c) The greater your sexual polarity the more emotional and sexual energy in the relationship. This can make conflict very heated. On the plus side, resolution of such heated conflict can be very fun.