Ladies, don't waste your precious time
Ladies, don’t waste your precious time.
I’ve seen many women inspire their man to rise to his potential and become far more than he would have done on his own.
And I’ve seen women waste years trying to turn a loser into a husband.
Why does marrying a man for his potential work out so well for some women and not others? I will explain below so that you can get the best results.
- Inspire him; don’t manipulate him.
Men are inspired primarily by women’s beauty, charm, and loyalty. True beauty is natural and comes from within, from your love of yourself and others, and manifests in part as effort put into taking care of your appearance. Every day you show who you are by how you choose to look.
Being obese, unfit, sloppy, having poor hygiene, and dressing slovenly will only inspire revulsion in a man. Men do not become better men for ugly women.
Just as women feel unsafe around bad men, men feel demotivated around unattractive women. It’s a natural response. Not taking care of your appearance will nullify your efforts to inspire him.
On the other hand, no amount of feminine beauty will compensate for a woman who is mean, stingy with affection, disloyal, backstabbing, or undermining. For lasting power to inspire, a woman needs CHARM.
What is feminine charm?
Feminine charm is a combination of traits, behaviors, and attributes that are associated with femininity and are attractive or enchanting. Here are some elements that are a part of feminine charm:
Warmth and Approachability: A demeanor that makes others feel comfortable and welcome.
Grace and Elegance: The way one moves or carries oneself with a certain smoothness or poise.
Empathy and Compassion: Showing a deep understanding and care for others’ feelings.
Confidence: Being comfortable in one’s own skin, which can be very magnetic.
Humor: A light, playful sense of humor or the ability to laugh at oneself.
Conversational Skills: Engaging in conversation in a way that makes others feel heard and valued.
Appearance: While not the sole component, attention to personal style or grooming can contribute, as society often associates certain aesthetic choices with femininity.
Mystery and Allure: Keeping some aspects of oneself private or not fully revealed can intrigue others.
Kindness and Generosity: Acts that show selflessness or kindness can be very charming.
Voice and Communication Style: A soothing, pleasant voice or a way of speaking that conveys warmth or intrigue.
It takes years to teach yourself these skills. Hiring a female coach or mentor that specializes in teaching these skills is a massive time and energy saver that will help you go from a rough hick to a polished lady in record time.
Charm is not the same as manipulation.
The charming woman inspires a man to be the best version of himself rather than trying to trick or pressure him into becoming her ideal.
Charm is persuasive. It is honest and looks for mutual benefit. Charm is a virtue that stems from love of oneself and others. Manipulation is dishonest, win-lose, and usually comes from insecurity.
Manipulation breeds insecurity, demotivates, and creates resentment, which kills relationships. For more on this subject of how to avoid being manipulative, please read my book “Become Immune to Manipulation: How They Are Manipulating You (And How to Resist It).”.
- Does he have real potential?
You can’t polish a turd. Does he have real potential, or do you just wish that he had potentional? How would you even know for sure?
Men with potential have at some point demonstrated it. They just need motivation to live it consistently. Look for demonstrations of potential.
Some men have great potential but will never reach it due to addiction issues, mental health issues, toxic relationships, or other causes.
In most cases, getting an expert, outside opinion on a man’s potential is essential, and you will likely be too close and emotionally invested to make a rational decision and your friends will tend to say what they think you want to hear.
- Does he want to be inspired?
Some men love the simple life—no responsibilities, no stress—and they have zero interest in changing. Since you can only inspire and not force change, such men will just waste your time.
He might be a great guy, but he will not make a great husband unless he wants to.
Conclusion
Most young men are living far below their potential, waiting for something or someone to inspire them.
Women who want to date a man who is not yet established himself have to use discernment to pick a man that can and will grow into a husband and eventually the father of her children.
If you have questions, please ask below or even book a free 30 minute chat with me. I will help you make a wise choice.
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