"I/we can't trust men

“I/we can’t trust men.”

“Men in the online right are hostile to us.”

I’ve been seeing a lot of this sentiment in the online right over the last few months. It smells of bitter ex-lover vibes.

Some of you who have been saying these things are ladies I appreciate very much and enjoy hearing from, but this might be uncomfortable for you. I say it with love.

Let’s break it down and disambiguate what is being said.

“I/we can’t trust men to always and at all times provide free provision and protection like we used to get in the past.”

No, you can’t. We’re no longer in the past. The safe, high-trust, homogenous white communities of the past no longer exist. We are at war; it’s going to last for generations, and we have to adjust.

Women shouldn’t place their trust in men they don’t know personally or have a relationship with. That’s dangerous and naive. You also shouldn’t care about the opinions of men who are not your kin, which is the opposite of what social media encourages women to do.

All that matters is knowing that YOUR men are trustworthy. (Father, brother, husband, sons, etc.)

Even back “in the day,” men invested in and protected their women, that is, the women of their tribe. I explained it all in the following post:

“Men in the online right are hostile to us, and we can’t handle this level of conflict, so we are out.”

Yes, men in the online right are hostile to everyone and engage in constant conflict and king-of-the-hill games. Politics is war, and war is politics. Not a place for women.

It’s also a place where many frustrated young men blow off steam and where three-letter agencies employ sophisticated manipulation tactics and operations to stir up divisions between men, women, and the factions on the right.

All that makes political activism a terrible place for good women to be, as I cover in this post:

If you can’t fight like a man, don’t jump in the ring with a man. Or at least don’t complain about getting a black eye. This applies to sensitive men, too.

Yes, some of these hostile men are bitter Gamma- and Omega-losers. We all dislike dealing with them. Some are just (left and right) trolls. As mature men, we block them and proceed with our mission.

How can we just shrug it off? We don’t care if they like us or agree with us. We are not seeking approval, but we do appreciate it.

In real life, mature men deal with mouthy losers harshly; they are expelled from the conversation and sent back to the farm to dig ditches. Sometimes they learn and grow into maturity; sometimes they do not. But online activism is not the real world, so they slide by. For now.

If you could just block them and move on like a man, you might not find the online space so hostile. I blocked about 50k feminists in a short period of time. I had a whole team of volunteers blocking them on my social media accounts.

Did it break me? Throw me off my mission. No, it was funny and gave me energy.

Men like conflict. No, that’s not accurate. Men LOVE conflict. It makes us stronger, but it’s really bad for women, and the decision by many women to drop out of the online political conversation is wise. There are better things you could be doing with your time that would bring you even greater happiness.

Men seek safety. That is, we seek to have the network and skills to make ourselves safe in a dangerous world. Women, however, need security, which is distance from danger. You cannot find security online; you find it in your home, surrounded by dangerous men who love you.

Have your trusted men—your father and husband—keep the untrustworthy men so far away from you that you don’t even know they exist. That’s their job; let them know you need it and want it.

Don’t fall for the flashing lights. There is nothing good for you online.

Politics for women is husband, children, hearth, home, and kin. That’s where you can shape nations—beside the cradle and in your man’s ear.

Our online and offline experience (in adulthood) with the opposite sex is almost entirely up to us. If we are having a bad go of it, we need to change our approach, our goals, and the locations we visit.