🗣️📣How long should it take to vet a potential spouse?

�️📣How long should it take to vet a potential spouse?

If you are skilled at vetting and have a good system, it doesn’t take years.

The longer it takes you to figure it out, the worse you are at it.

� Highly skilled at reading people + a good system = 3 to 6 months.

� Mediumly skilled at reading people + a good system = 6 to 12 months.

If it takes you more than a year, you need to get a coach or a better system.

In most cases, for most people, if it takes more than a year, the answer is “no”.

So why do people date for years?

Often, they are fooling themselves, trying to make a relationship that’s not going to work seem viable. After all that time invested, they can’t just walk away with a “no”, even if it’s best. (Sunk cost fallacy).

Another reason is fear.

There is not usually a fear of commitment. Instead, people fear their own inability to accurately judge themselves and their partners. They fear making a mistake that they will regret.

For someone who is unskilled at relationships, that fear is a legitimate reason to hold back.

Ask yourself:

�Can I see a clear future with them? �Are we both in harmony? �Do we draw closer every day?

If not, or if you have been dating for more than a year, reach out for help.

Almost every divorce is set up in the dating phase of the relationship.

Not everyone is good at reading people or being observant of behavior patterns, both essential skills in vetting.

Some professions require these skills, and some people are naturally drawn to developing them. If that’s not you, the good news is that you can pay someone to help you.

It’s a lot cheaper to get help now, before marriage, than to seek help later to fix a troubled marriage or to get through a divorce.