"Do you think she likes me?

“Do you think she likes me?” “How do I get her to like me?” “Should I text her or will that seem desperate?” “What if she thinks I am being too forward?” “How do I know if I have a chance before I risk anything?”

These are the most common questions young men ask about women.

But they are the wrong questions.

Because underneath them is a deeper one they are afraid to say aloud or even think about:

“Do I have permission to want this?”

That is the true spiritual sickness. Permission seeking.

Modern men have been trained to believe they need permission, before they speak, before they act, before they even feel desire.

They ask permission to lead. They ask permission to initiate. They ask permission to live.

Where did this strange behaviour come from?

It came from being raised in mother-only environments and schools almost entirely staffed by women, where obedience was the highest virtue, initiative was punished as “dangerous,” and there were no men-only spaces left for boys to escape into.

It came from childhoods spent indoors, supervised, controlled, emotionally castrated, never given the sacred freedom to wander around, build stuff, fight, break things, explore danger, and take risks.

It came from being under-fathered and underexposed to heroic masculine examples.

Back when 90% of us lived in rural areas boys roamed in nature with their friends and their dogs, an old rifle, fishing rods or slingshots, testing themselves against the real world. They made fires. They crossed rivers. They got lost and found their way home.

That was how boys learned to lead and take risks.

Today, they are raised like poodles.

No surprise that when they become men, they still wait for someone to hand them a leash.

And now, we are told by fake masculinity coaches that “men should not pursue.”

As if passivity were a virtue. As if hesitation were masculine. As if waiting for a woman to make the first move is how you build a legacy.

Would you accept this in any other part of your life?

Men should not pursue wealth. Men should not pursue purpose. Men should not pursue fitness. Men should not pursue status. Men should not pursue skill, mastery, or competence. Men should not pursue land, freedom, or honor.

Ridiculous. It makes you sick just reading it!

A man who does not pursue what he wants is not safe because of it. He is lost and helpless.

And the truth is this: A man who cannot pursue women cannot pursue anything.

This is not about aggression or entitlement. This is not about tricking her into liking you.

It is about acting as an assertive, mature man.

A man who knows what he wants. A man who is not afraid of rejection. A man who understands that permission is not required to begin.

So approach that woman you like. Start getting to know her. And let her get to know you.

So what if she says no?

You stop, if it is a real no.

A real no is final. She cuts off contact. She makes herself unavailable. She removes herself from your world. When that happens, you respect it. You walk away with your head high.

But many no’s are not final.

Some women say no the first time you approach them because they are unsure, overwhelmed, or testing your intent. They want to feel your clarity. They want to see if you mean it.

Sometimes, a woman says no, but keeps talking. Keeps showing up. Keeps orbiting your presence. She is still open to being pursued, but perhaps not in the same way.

The weak man hears that and gets manipulative.

The mature man hears that and gets precise.

He changes the offer. He grows up a bit. He lets her see more of who he is. And sometimes, her no turns into a yes. Sometimes all it takes it time.

This is not manipulation. This is the nature of courtship.

Even my wife said no the first time I asked her out. Her head was in a different place when I asked her and she didn’t feel ready to date someone long distance (that’s how we dated at first). But she said yes to a next meeting (really a date with another name).

She said no, but I did not collapse. I just gave her a little time to see the kind of man I was. And when she saw it, she changed her mind. Next time I asked I got a yes.

So yes, respect a firm no. But do not confuse indecision with rejection. And do not mistake a delayed yes for a no.

Pursue like a man. With discernment. With courage. With patience. If she is unsure, you observe, then decide if she is worth the effort.

But at no point do you beg for approval like a boy asking if he is allowed to play outside.

Ultimately, this is not about women. It is about you.

You have been told your whole life that your wants are dangerous. That your strength must be tamed. That your initiative is a threat.

That ends now.

If you want her, pursue her. If you get rejected, learn from it. If you succeed, enjoy your win.

Stop asking for permission.

Start living like a man.