All we need is the truth (and some tact) Humans improve using something called...

All we need is the truth (and some tact)

Humans improve using something called the OODA loop.

It stands for Observe, Orient, Decide and Act. Check out the graphic. Its a cycle. Every time we run the cycle we get a little bit better at something.

The faster we can run the cycle the faster we improve. The more truthful our feedback the better we improve.

Previously the mating market was simple and feed back was direct and honest. Feedback came not just from the people you might marry but principally from your parents and other mature adults in your life.

And it was BRUTAL. It had to be. The world was unforgiving and outside of the protection of marriage most peoples lives were miserable.

Their OODA loop was high trust, truthful and fast acting. As my great grandmother would say “they were more ready for marriage 16 that most people today are at 26”.

Today people date strangers, from strange places, with strange ideas. There is no trust, no expectation of honesty or healthy feedback. Thats why ghosting is the most popular breakup method.

They cant run an OODA loop on bad, false or scarce dating information. So it takes people decades to make what should be months worth of emotional growth.

Straight, honest feed back can hurt but hiding the truth hurts even more.