🗣️📣 What does living together vet for?

�️📣 What does living together vet for?

�Living together vets for compatibility. �Dating for marriage vets for marriageability.

Here is the problem: We change constantly.

And as we change, our compatibility changes.

You are measuring a moving variable, building on a foundation of sand.

This is one reason why compatibility is overrated.

Eventually, if you live with someone long enough without the commitment of marriage, you end up drifting apart and separating.

Living together is focused on “for better” (compatability) and ignores how to deal with “for worse.”

It’s unsustainable and likely to end in heartbreak.

Dating for marriage can also establish compatibility.

A professional can judge a couple’s compatibility in a single meeting; it’s very easy. I can also teach you how to do that, but it will take you longer to make a judgment.

Dating for marriage also vets for marriageability.

That is, a couple’s demonstrated ability to work together to sustain the relationship long term, for better or for worse, with little regard to vague “compatibility”. In the end, that’s what makes a marriage work.

The commitment of marriage ensures that if you drift apart, it’s not going to be the end of the relationship.

Instead, you will both be willing to adjust your course intentionally toward each other. That is not going to be discovered by living together without commitment.